Need Essay Corrected For Assignment

wrote an essay and the teacher picked it apart like crazy. I need it fixed to what he is asking please. The files provided are the essay and the essay that was graded by the teacher and has what needs to be fixed about it. Theres a rubric to follow. You can add to the story to make it sounds good.

  • attachment

    MariaJesusaBowmerexam.docx
  • attachment

    22568647_700151.pdf

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